"You Say 'Victim' Like It's a Bad Thing..."

I can honestly say I have been a victim. Does that mean I AM a victim?

If you say the word ‘victim’ in today’s world, more than likely a team of people will try to shut that message down and tell you to stop being a victim and not behave ‘victimized’.

Uh. That is almost right.

But not quite.

There is such a thing as something happening to you that you have no control over that does you harm.  It is okay to know that, recognize it for what it is and seek healing in truth.

Problem: Someone has to be responsible. 

Solution: Figure out who is responsible.

Problem: Blame.

Of course, blame carries shame.  Emotional punishment.

Responsibility carries the weight of having to answer for what is done.

Problem: Innocence (the position of a victim) often has a tenderness that blames itself because recognizing another’s responsibility feels like judging or blaming. Easier to take it on yourself.

Another problem: Innocence that assumes the blame.

Compounded problem: Innocence that assumes the blame and internalizes the judgment for the one who did the harm.

Super-duper compounded problem:  An innocent is self-blamed, lacks the ability to trust and ends up being secretly bitter because the internal cry for justice is not satisfied.

Mondo-muther-lode-super-duper compounded problem:  An innocent person is traumatized, lives out of the fear of being victimized again, cannot forgive because forgiving 'feels' like it violates internal sense of justice and the person ends up judging others.

Mondo-condo-muther-lode-super-duper magnificent absolutely perfect answer: 

“God?”

 Well, where was He, anyway??

Before there was time, He existed. When time is finished, He will still be. The in-between is the great experience of life. All around us, people are making choices. We love having choices. We fight for choices.  

                             We are a victim if we have no choice when being wronged.

God gives us all a choice. Perhaps you, like I, have been a victim of someone making wrong choices. 

We have the power to choose.  When God gave us free will to choose—He made us so we are not forced to love and submit to Him as victims/slaves to His will—but to love and submit to Him as sons.

True freedom is the power of choice yielded to His wisdom.

The power to choose is an amazing endowment. It is meant to be yielded to God who will guide us according to His will and purposes. Without that guidance, we choose foolishly, recklessly, and even harm people we love because we are not, without His perspective, able to choose with a higher wisdom.

We have a selfish nature.

Have you been hurt by the choices of another person's selfish nature? 

To get out of the victim cycle, we must forgive. But, ahhhhhh, that sense of justice we have! 

Can we accept the challenge to forgive—as we have been forgiven? And trust the ultimate perfect judgment to be measured out by a perfect God and not by us?

To forgive is to resign as judge.

To be unforgiving is to say, “I am the judge.” Not only that, you may reserve the 'right to punish'.

Do we really want to be the judge of mankind?  

                 We who beg for mercy for ourselves?

An unrighteous judge will further victimize others.

And so it continues.

“Father God. By Your Grace, I step off the treadmill of victim/judge/victimize. I forgive those who have hurt me even as I stand each day and ask for forgiveness for myself. I trust You as the Judge of all. The people I have held in my fist—in my walled-up heart—I  give to You. I know You will do what is right. Please heal my wounds and I pray for healing for those I have hurt. Open my heart and mind to Your perspective—because my own perspective has not worked very well. As I trust You, teach me to trust again and give me Wisdom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

From Wilderness to Garden

Done with the wilderness, already. 

                     I want to be in a garden.

I am beginning to sense relief...  but it has been miserable!

I kept thinking if I could just figure out WHY I am here, I could FIX IT and get OUT!

I have been reading the scriptures about people who are in a wilderness season.  The reasons vary—and the people I am reading about didn’t always know why they were there.

The Israelites were in the desert for 40 years because of grumbling and disobedience.

                                This is not good news for me. 

Actually, that wilderness experience was God’s plan:  Here was Moses’ message…
              "Let My people go, that they may serve Me in the wilderness."

                                Great.

Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.

                                Again, not good news.

Jacob was thrown into a pit in the wilderness by his brothers.

                                So, the there is a PIT in the wilderness?
                                                       Can we get lower than that??

The lover in the Song of Solomon came out of the wilderness  ‘leaning on her Beloved’.   

Song of Sol 8 : 5

                                I pick this one.

The sons of Israel journeyed by stages from the wilderness.  Exodus 17: 1

I can tell you what does NOT make the wilderness experience pass by any faster:

1.              Whining

2.              Begging

3.              Pouting

4.              Being harder on myself

5.              Isolating (even further!)

My 'wilderness' did not look like this.

 

What HAS helped me is this:

1.               Clinging—to what my spirit knows is true.

2.               Praying—and learning to rest, not strive.

3.               Trusting—in the good nature of God; not the fears of my imagination

4.               Reaching—to a good listener who will help me process in my search for understanding

5.               Responding and Repenting—when convicted of sin, but not sifting and ‘beating myself’

The wilderness. 

I’ve always thought of it as a desert.

Webster’s dictionary offers several definitions for ‘wilderness’;

one of them is “a part of a garden devoted to wild growth”.

Isaiah 51:3

The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

Isaiah 58:11

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

To go from wilderness to garden makes me happy.

After all, this all started and ended in a garden.

From Eden. 

Then the Garden of Gesthamene. 

Then…

John 19:41

At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid.

           Resurrection Sunday is coming…

See Spot?

Recently, I discovered a horrible spot on my favorite white blouse. I was militant to get rid of it. Finally, I got medieval with the bleach and rescued the blouse and I am able to wear it again. Before that, it was ruined. (And don't you hate that dreaded note from the dry cleaner "Unable to remove spot" ???)

The scripture that keeps running through my spirit today is " ...keep yourself unspotted from the world." James 1: 27  I am wondering how much pollution I have allowed in my life from the world; things that leave a mark, stain or spot.

I have also reflected on the many MRIs, CTscans, dermatologist checkups and xrays I have had over the last few years -- and the first thing I wanted to know was "Are there any suspicious SPOTS??"  As we all know, an unwanted 'spot' in the body can grow to be a troublesome thing. Doctors advise that even the smallest suspicious thing should be removed.

In Ephesians, Paul refers to the work of the Word in our life as cleansing and purifying: Eph. 5: 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church (the bride of Christ) without a spot..." As a bride, the LAST thing you would want to find on your dress is a SPOT!!

I am thinking of things today that I have done or participated in that have left spots and stains -- marks of the world on me. (Where's the bleach???)

I love this scripture: Isaiah 1: 18 "Come now, and let us reason together," Says the LORD, "Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool."

Look what I found in the commentaries!

Scarlet: The cotton cloth was dipped in this color twice; and the word used to express it means also double-dyed, from the verb שׁנה shânâh, to repeat.  It was a more permanent color than that which is mentioned under the word crimson. Scarlet sins can be generally described as ones that are done over and over from which you may feel there is no turning back...

This was a fast, or fixed color. Neither dew, nor rain, nor washing, nor long usage, would remove it. Hence, it is used to represent the fixedness and permanency of sins in the heart. No human means will wash them out. No effort of man, no external rites, no tears, no sacrifices, no prayers, are of themselves sufficient to take them away. They are deep fixed in the heart, as the scarlet color was in the weave of cloth, and an almighty power is needful to remove them.

Crimson:  This color was less permanent than the scarlet. While not permanent, it was not possible to totally remove it and restore the garment by human methods.

Ahhhh then SNOW AND WOOL!  WHITE AS SNOW - That is, the deep, fixed stain, which no human power could remove, shall be taken away. In other words, sin shall be pardoned, and the soul be made pure.  AS WOOL - That is, as wool undyed, or from which the color is removed. Though your sins appear as deep-stained, and as permanent as the fast color of crimson in wool, yet they shall be removed - as if that stain should be taken away from the wool, and it should be restored to its original whiteness.

He knows us so well. "Come, let us reason together..." He wants to have a conversation about it and talk us through this cleansing.

I'm thinking I need a big, repetitive dose of Ephesians 5 to even identify the spots!

Why IN THE WORLD would I want to have anything to do with something that would put spots on my soul?? I can see I have some cleaning to do...

Love,
Marcie Elliott-Smith