When you are learning how to hear the voice of the Lord and
others seem to be sharp in this, it can sometimes be intimidating. It felt at
times to me that the Lord had favorites; those who could hear Him, see Him,
etc.—and my life with Him didn’t seem very dynamic in comparison.
Comparison.
There was my undoing.
Learning to be content, peaceful and joyful with the way my
relationship with God is progressing has been a challenge. Even while writing
those words, I am reminded that we must never get complacent and stop pressing
in to knowing Him—but there is a truth to being able to embrace the confidence
of His love.
I don’t want ‘your Jesus’, your calling, your relationship
with God. I want my own! I want an authentic, loving, living relationship with
God. It isn’t enough to watch it in others. It isn’t enough to hear about what
He is doing. I want to experience Him in my life---whether that looks similar
to yours, or not.
I don’t want to live my life and miss what it was supposed
to be. Psalm 139 says all my days were written by Him before any of them came
to be. I want a sneak-peek into that book and live what was written for me! I
can’t do that if I am always looking over someone else’s shoulder trying to see
what is in their book. I won’t have to answer for their lives—I have to answer
for my own.
I had to wear hand-me-down clothes when I was a child and I never did fully
appreciate that. In a way, I would be excited about those new-to-me clothes—but
I desired things that were new and only mine. So, ‘second-hand Jesus’ rang a
really deep message through me in more than one area.
I'm fairly sure He doesn't want a 'Second-Hand Marcie', either; where I pass on to Him the left-overs of my life. If it can be believed that something is worth what you pay for it, He paid EVERYTHING to ransom me. I am everything to Him. He is to be everything to me.
How tragic would it be if He came across the precious, expensive pieces of my life in a 'soul garage sale' where I was getting rid of my calling, my hope, my joy, my dreams...at the world's cheap prices? Second-Hand Marcie would be heartbreaking for Him--and wouldn't 'fit' anyone else who tried to buy it! I want to bring Him joy!
So, what does Jesus look like in my life? What does He want
to say to me? How may I serve Him? This is my life mission—to have a first-hand
relationship with Jesus, the Son of God.
There really is no other kind.
