My Struggle with "Community".

Community. (Webster): an interacting population of various kinds of individuals in a common location.

From the second grade to the middle of the 9^th, I lived in the same town with the same friends—going through school, activities and social stages together. It was a strong, healthy foundation for growth. I had very close friends and excelled in school, band, drill team and social situations.

Then that changed.

Literally, not figuratively, a tornado hit our house. We lived on the outskirts of town in a tiny old house—and wouldn’t you know that a tornado that came to our area hit our house!?

That experience in itself is remarkable and strategic. Enough of our roof was compromised that it was raining in my bedroom. I slept through the initial impact, but awakened to find water coming in, the windows imploded and my mother setting out pots to collect water as an act of panic.  (Of course that was futile.)  A crater in the dirt just beyond our doorstep revealed where the tornado dipped to the ground. In addition to roof damage, our water well was destroyed. Being poor, we did not have the money to replace the pump on the well and could not continue living there. 

Dad was already traveling to other towns to make a living -- not finding decent pay for work in our town. With our house destroyed, we began moving around with him. 

This is where my sense of community was hijacked.

I attended six high schools in less than three years. Right at the critical point of growing and maturing in a place of accountability and social stability, my world spun. Yep, like a tornado.

Being an introvert by nature, I learned how to extrovert enough to meet people and establish myself in a group immediately. I wasn’t picky. I was a social chameleon. At each school, I associated with different crowds of people depending on who took me in first: partiers (although I didn’t ‘party’--well, kinda...it was the 70s), academic buddies, rodeo goers, beach lovers, ‘social’ kids.  I was everything.  I was lost.  But I was among the functioning—even excelling—lost.

This is not a long blog post about my path through adolescence but rather my journey to understand how I relate to community.

I had a lovely counselor a few years ago that identified that because of my chopped up teen years, I did not learn how to contribute to community. I knew I needed to belong to ‘someone’ while I was there, but I did not see that I was needed. Therefore, I did not invest. Knowing we would move in 5 months, what was I supposed to do? 

The other thing my counselor identified was the benefit of how I stayed in touch with the friends I left behind at my original high school.  I sent hand-written letters to over 20 people EACH WEEK; sharing with them about my life and things that were happening in my family, etc. This was before the days of copy machines and word processing, PCs, and free long-distance calling, so I was handwriting the same thing over and over again each week. Basically, I was super-journaling! And through this process of thinking, writing and relating, I was able to emotionally process all the change that was happening.  I didn’t understand the therapeutic benefit at the time!

Moving so often set up a critical pattern of social development in me. I learned how to identify and belong to different kinds of groups—but I didn’t learn how to be known.  Really known.  I was friendly, caring and interested…but guarded.  As an adult, I had another opportunity to live in a town for a long time that challenged this pattern and I enjoyed about 20 years of relational exchange that was very healthy. It was my do-over. :)

Since then, a few heavy life blows came my way and I experienced extreme set back on how to relate again. A tornado in life "hit my house and disabled my well beyond my ability to repair it on my own". 

I need you. 

I am still learning how to move past the shell. 

Just yesterday, I was asking the Lord to crack open any remaining false wall around me and He quickly brought the scripture to mind:  Matthew 5: 15 “Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” God help us to open up to each other. To be fearlessly known. To fearlessly love.

I love the scripture of the disciples praying and hiding for fear in a locked room and Jesus appeared in the room after His resurrection. (John 20: 26)  Fear is a locked room.  Jesus will appear where we are hiding if we invite him. He found and called Gideon when he was hiding. (Judges 6:12) He has the key to our locked rooms.

I am understanding, again, that to enjoy community—you cannot be afraid of being known. You will only enjoy and benefit from community if you are willing to be known. And God will only be glorified when your light shines so others can see your good works and glorify the Father who is working through you.

We live in a society of secrets. A culture that lacks trust. People are afraid of being judged and misunderstood. We in the Lord must have the courage and humility to be known.

It’s funny—but even in my design business, I prefer to do all the design work ALONE--while the client is not at home! I prefer to let the client walk in to enjoy the finished work.  With God’s sense of humor, many of my recent projects have not worked that way! I have learned to do the work while the client is watching! Dudley teased me when I first had the Driskill holiday décor project. He said, “How are you going to get the entire hotel to evacuate so you can get this design done?” hahaha  BUSTED.

When I go to a social situation, it is an excruciating process. A million excuses can go through my mind as to why I should avoid it. I fight to get to the other side—and I am always glad that I do!

And so, here is my little life. I can’t wait until I get it all together before I let you in. Come on into my messy place and see how good God is---right where I am. It’s not all pretty, but it is glorious. 

I love you, my sweet community.  

(Wait!! Don’t come over here right now!! I am wearing sweats, have no makeup on and my deck is covered in pollen. )

(A leader in our church community replied to this blog with this song (below). Amazing anti-community song from the 70s! Pretty much sums up how one can be walled-off. Wow!)

http://youtu.be/JKlSVNxLB-A

Love,
Marcie Elliott-Smith

Put Yourself on 'Soak' !!

Soaking. The slow, deliberate saturation of a thing. The process used to remove stubborn stains in fabric. The process used to prepare the cleaning of a cooking dish when solids are otherwise hard to remove. The process of a substance permeating the surface and saturating matter beneath the surface. The process used to soften and prepare ground for growth. 

The scripture is full of reminders that we are to meditate on the Lord and His Word. In recent years, adding inspired music to times of meditation has been referred to as 'soaking'. Soaking is a tool that helps us allow the Holy Spirit to center our affections on Him…to be pulled away from the pluralism of the world and our culture and be identified with the Oneness of Who He Is.

We are often so saturated {soaked} by the river of words and influence that never stops through television, music, computer interests and the chatter of people. It is no wonder that when we attempt to still ourselves before the Lord that we are challenged regarding quieting our mind and spirit!  It is so refreshing to find an oasis of purity when we slow down our day and even bring it to a STOP…and give Him our undivided attention.

Soaked by the world!

Sometimes we are so pulled, stressed and burdened, we may feel we are unable to give Him our undivided attention. That is where the beauty of soaking helps. During a dedicated time of soaking, play inspirational music and allow your spirit to be still. Letting the music help quiet your mind, your spirit is able to rest and receive the stirrings and watering from the Holy Spirit. 

For me, I think it is especially helpful that the mind has something to follow (the melody). During quiet meditation (without music), I find that it can be a struggle to still my mind. When this is happening, my spirit and my mind are in a tug-of-war! It is practically impossible for me to receive anything from God in times like that! 

Recently, I have enjoyed reading scripture for a while and then settle down to ‘soak’/listen and REST. I remember the scriptures and find that my spirit prays them; asking for those words to bring change in my life that I would be transformed to be more and more in His likeness through the power of His word.

If this all sounds odd to you, I challenge you to try it!

I didn’t even know where to start but had heard of soaking as being a helpful exercise for learning to rest in His Presence and recognize His communications. I opened www.spotify.com and searched for soaking music. I have found that I love the anointed instrumentals of Pablo Perez…so you can search for music by that artist’s name for a starting place. (Also, Kimberly and Alberto Rivera!) There are several styles of soaking music, so pick through selections and see what appeals to you. For instance, some music has lyrics added but that can be distracting to me as I tend to concentrate on the lyrics. Because of that tendency, I usually choose strictly instrumental music. You may like music with lyrics or make your own mix of selections! I am also very careful to choose artists that are NOT new age oriented or of any other influence than the Holy Spirit. 

The movement and substance of the Holy Spirit is often referred to as water, ‘flow’, refreshing, anointing oil, wind, fire, peace, love, joy, mercy… etc. It has been my experience during soaking meditation to sense the moving, speaking and filling of the Holy Spirit in the stillness of my spirit. The depth of God fills the depth of YOU.

Psalm 42: 7-8 
Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.

Depending on what He wants to do for you in a particular session, you may find that you fall asleep! That does not prevent Him from working but may actually be Him drawing you into a peaceful rest. Pray before you begin that the session will be what He wants it to be. (I like my pillow and my blanket on the couch—or a dimly lit room. Create a space and atmosphere that works for you!) Ask Him to cleanse your heart from anything that displeases Him and yield to His Presence. Some of you give so much that you are more depleted than you think! REST your spirit during this time and let Him fill you with peace and strength.

NOTE: This is a time of refreshing! Remember---SOAK!  Don’t strive in the spirit to intercede, ‘try’ to hear, etc. Learn to be still and be quiet. (That said, I have had Him lead me through some intercession and laying others at His feet; but let the agenda be HIS. Go into the time with the resolve to FOLLOW.)

I hope you will practice the presence of the Lord with this exercise and find the benefit of finding a fresh focus on Him and as well as being assured of His love, direction and purpose for your life.

Psalm 46: 10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Psalm 119: 48
“I reach out for your commands, which I love,
                                that I may meditate on your decrees.”

  Go    ahead!    Play   in    the    Rain!

 

Psalms 131:2 – “But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

Psalms 4:4 – “In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah.”

Psalms 37:7a – “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him …” 

Matthew 11:28-30 -” Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Love,

Marcie Elliott-Smith

God Loves Dogs and Daddies

I have a darling little dog. He has been with me for 16 years--since he was a puppy. Wow....he has been a witness to my life. That's what I think of this little companion.

I have given that quite a bit of reflection now that I know he is in the last stages of kidney failure. Diet change and IV fluids twice a day have given him a new lease on life. He is active and full of life again---which is a miracle because not long ago, he was dying.

Phlique at the vet's office:

Turns out, about the time my Dad called and said he felt he was dying, Phlique was, too. I rushed to Dad and got medical attention for him---IV fluids and respiratory assistance. He has a new lease on life, as well.

Do I dare to compare them? Of course not. But I am reminded of the scripture (that is repeated several times) "God is loving to all He has made."

Psalm 145:9

The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

Dad never complains so when he called me at 9 a.m. saying, "I don't think I'm going to make it."  I knew he was serious. "I'm sorry--but my old lungs have just worn out. Can you come this weekend?"

My heart began breaking. It is the day I never wanted to see. Dudley and I changed our plans immediately and headed to where he lives--3 hours away. 

Dad refused an ambulance until we could get there. We found him barely breathing because his lungs were full of fluid. The ambulance came and the techs began helping him and transported him to the nearest hospital. He was dehydrated and had pneumonia. He was drowning.

Dudley declared,

"It will be OK. 

             NO ONE IS DYING TODAY!"  

Thank God for the authority and faith of a believer!!

Dad in the ER:

As God would have it, we celebrated Dad's 80th birthday in his hospital room! He was feeling well enough to make me mad, lecture me once or twice... and yet was humble enough to throw his hands in the air and thank God for his life and his children. All three of his children were there in the hospital to celebrate his birthday with a cake.
                                     Heaven was smiling on our little family.

Birthday and lectures:

I was so overtaken by a migraine headache, that I, too, was admitted through the ER and was given narcotics. Dad and I both left the hospital in wheelchairs. But by God's power....we both LEFT!!!

My sister and her husband helped as we disinfected Dad's house so he and his wife, who also had pneumonia, could return home and recover. It was a labor of love that blessed them so much. They were both so weak.

I told Dad, "The day will come when you will be gathered to your fathers--but that is not today. 

            When that day comes, I will be here for you and we will look at it together,
                     but that is not today."

God, I love my Daddy.

Then I found out Phlique was sick. My little dog. Fluids and a diet change have revived him, as I said. I thought about the parallels and the impending loss I will experience. My heart grieved and rejoiced at the same time. How does the heart do that??

I went to a seminar about "Hearing God's Voice". During the practice part of the session, I was paired with a lovely lady and we were to ask God to give us one word that would be meaningful to the person we were paired with.

I told the lady, "You go first!" She said...."It's kinda odd....but all I have is the word 'DOG' for you!"

I cried! I told her how Phlique was critically ill and how I was caring for him. I was overwhelmed at how God cared for ME and for what concerns ME. 

Phlique is better---and Dad is better. In fact, after this seminar, God gave me a word to give to my Father. (You would just have to imagine how much faith it took for me to write it down and mail to him!!!)

The word was this:

Dear Dad,                                                                             March 6, 2013

Sometimes God gives me a message for other people—but not very often. This morning, this was on my heart for you:

“I have heard your prayers for your family. You have cried out to Me for Me to help them, guide them, give them good lives and bless their families.

You have also been burdened with “I wish I had done this” or “I wish I had not done that” and I want you to know those things are taken care of.  I have worked in the hearts of your children and where you feared there would be rejection, you will find their hearts are tender with You.  You have also asked me to work in their lives to make right the things that you feel were hurt.  I am doing this work.

I am also working in your heart to let this burden go. Have I not said, “Cast all your cares on Me because I care for you”?  I have heard your prayers and have visited you and your family with My grace. 

Your pouring of love towards them has healed many a misstep. As My word says, “Love covers a multitude of sins” you are seeing the redeeming power of love.

And do not allow the enemy of your soul to tell you that the years with your young family are those of regret for there was much laughter and I was with all of you to bring each of you though very unique experiences.  Each person was molded in very particular ways through those years and they are all My workmanship.

You do well to love your family with a full heart.  Do not hold back and communicate often for the approval and nearness of the father teaches them of the approval and nearness of their Heavenly Father.

You are deeply loved and I have heard your prayers.”

I mailed it and waited. Enough time went by that I KNEW he had received it--but he didn't call. I was afraid he was upset by it. I asked Dudley to call him (hahaha) to see if all was well. :)

Dad said when he read it, he wanted to frame it, but it was 2 pages long so he couldn't fit it in a frame. Funny.

God bless him. He soaked it up.
       It was a letter from THE Father to MY Father. 

And to receive that little word of knowledge "Dog"?? Oh, God loves dogs and Daddies. Both will be gathered to their Maker and I will have to let them go. But not without a fight from this girl---you can bet on that!!

I visited Dad this past weekend. We shot guns together. Talked and talked (he doesn't turn on the TV...which I love about him)!

He mows with the tractor. He hunts. He does what he can. But mostly, he loves. He has been a rough son-of-a-gun to know and be raised by----but he is finishing strong in love. Thank God!

Dad and Dudley on the 'War Wagon' last weekend:

And with my Phlique--we will finish strong in love. God has spoken tenderly to me about both of them. He truly loves and is compassionate to "all He has made".

Daily fluids for Phlique:

And He is tender and compassionate with me.

Thank GOD.

What do you have in your life that can be rolled onto the Lord's shoulders? He waits, loves, and cares. For the lilies of the field, for the tiny sparrows, for dogs and Daddies....He carries it all. And He loves you.

Trust our sweet Daddy God. He will not let you down.

Love,

Marcie Elliott-Smith