I Found an Old Journal

I found a journal this morning. One that I was keeping in 1990 when I was in cross-cultural evangelism training in Hawaii. As I read through the stories of what the Lord did, I cried because I had forgotten.

I want to share one of them with you--so you can see the sweetness of the Lord.

In a small group prayer meeting, Karen (not her real name) shared her testimony and then asked for prayer because she had a block in her life that was keeping her from growing in God. We listened to her testimony, and began to pray for her. I kept 'hearing' the word "adultery". Hmmm... wasn't mentioned in the testimony.

("Adultery.")

Really? Am I supposed to SAY that??

Keep praying.

("Adultery.")

"Lord please let someone else say that."

("Adultery.")

Me: Sweet Karen, I think I am hearing the word adultery but I'm not sure how it would apply to you.

K: Well, I haven't committed adultery, but I did date a married man one time.

Me: Oh---well let's confess that and disentangle you from the effects of that sin and the involvement of his broken marriage covenant.

Done.

Still praying.

("Murder.")

"Lord, please. Wait a minute. I can't say that."

("Murder.")

Me: (trying to say this as harmless as possible) "Karen, have you intensely hated someone in your heart? You know that is the same as murder."

K: "Yes. And not only that, I tried to kill him. But when I went to shoot him, the gun came apart in my hand. I know it was angels."

We all praised God for how He intervened for her (and the dude) that day! But since the Lord brought it up, we figured there was unfinished business. (He isn't like a man who will continue to bring up something that is healed and forgiven!) So, she went on to forgive further and lay down any lingering thoughts of revenge, regret, etc. And she was finally free.

Now I remember this very well. Sometimes the nudging of the Lord is so gentle and natural, you can think it is your own thought. The only way to know is to take a step of faith. I've made some mistakes with this but I've also seen God's hand, too. I know that, for me, I feel like I die a little bit more each time I step out. Must be part of what He means when He says, "He who loses his life, for My sake, will find it."

(Matt 10: 39)

Life.

Life is worth a try! :)