I worship. I cry. It's ugly. It's beautiful.

How have I been a 'believer' so long and just now feel like I am learning how to worship?

Lately, especially in Sunday morning worship, I ask the Lord to share something about Himself with me. When He gives me a fresh glimpse of a tiny piece of Himself...I go to pieces. (That is girl-speak for crying really hard!)

Some women even categorize whether another woman is a "pretty crier" or not.

Let's just say, I'm not.

These precious encounters cause me to forget myself.

Some of these things have been:

"I am a HEAVENLY Father." 

                          (Boooohooooo!  Yes, You are!!! You are so HEAVENLY!!!)

"I AM the same as when you trusted me for freedom
                                                       when you were 20 yrs old."

                          (Wahhhhh!  I remember that!!  I was such a mess!! Oh You are the Same!
                                             You are the Same!!! Helppp meeeeeeee!!!!!)

"My lap is the Mercy Seat. The Father's lap is the Mercy Seat
                                       --not of judgment like you felt with your Dad." 

                          (WHERE IS THE KLEENEX IN THIS CHURCH??? Boohooo---gusher---
                                           'woman down' over here!!!)

(Mother's Day:)  "I am changing your name from barrenness to Baroness."

                          (Bury head in my own shirt...sobbing...can't breathe or see....
                                          weak and must sit down...forget the Kleenex.)

"I always have more.  I am not low in supply of mercy, forgiveness
                                  and goodness. I always have more."

(Yes, You ARE More! Not only do you 'have' more....You ARE MORE!!! Mascara running down my face....I wipe my nose....mascara is now striped down the bridge of my nose....it is also smeared up into my eyebrows....not a great look for me. Even better--is how I am blissfully unaware of it until I get in the car to go home and glance into the mirror.)

And not long ago, He ambushed me Sunday morning--
                                in my own HOUSE!
                                            Here's what happened:

One Sunday morning, I woke up with a heavy sense of "feeling bad about myself".  Yukky life residue, I guess. I didn't even feel I could go to church. The Spirit said, "I created this new day for you. Will You walk with Me in it?"  "Yes."  And I got up and began getting ready for church.

Then He said, "There is one condition." 

(Great. Wouldn't you just know it. My heart was still heavy.)

"Don't bring yesterday with you." 

BAM!  That just happened!  I zipped on to church with a light heart and readiness to worship instead of a feeling of avoidance.


When we see each other at church, there is always so, so much more going on than we see, isn't there?

And seeing people in the store?

And seeing people in the next car?

At work?

Everywhere.

Makes you wonder...

Where will He show up next and what will He say?