Debt--Stuff Dreams are Made of

Debt. I hate that suffocating word.

There was a time when I was deep in personal debt. I was embarrassed by it. Limited by it. Imprisoned by it. 

One evening, the time came when I needed to spread it all out on the dining room table and look at the cold, hard, black-and-white of it. I was overwhelmed.

I was looking at personal spending that had gone out of control. By some standards, it wasn't much--but it was spending that was beyond my means. I was very aware that I didn't have an obvious stream of income headed my way that was going to bail me out. I felt defeated. Condemned.

I left the mess of paperwork on the table and went to bed. It was late and staring at it--fretting over it--wasn't changing anything.

During the night, I had a dream. Jesus came through our house, went to the dining room and sat at our table. I immediately had a sense of dread and shame. ((OH, I wish I had cleaned up that mess!))

He sat at our table for a few minutes and wrote something. After He finished writing, He left. 

In my dream, I watched Him leave then I slowly went over to the table to see what He had written.

What I saw amazed me. I was floored. Humbled. Broken. Full of joy.

He wrote across all the papers " J E S U S".  He wrote His name -- in beautiful handwriting -- across all the papers!!  I couldn't believe it!

I felt like the woman who had been caught in adultery and He defended her to the crowd and wrote something in the sand. I wonder if He wrote His name that day, too.

John 8: 3 But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger...

What floored me the most is how He didn't judge me. He stooped to identify with me. He wrote His name on it as though He identified with me in my mess and showed love for me in my undone state. He did not disown me in my shame.

I was reminded that this is not the first time He took care of things that were written against me.

Colossians 2: 13-14  He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge
of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us;
he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.

This was no different. He is the way out. He is the Way. I laid down all the shame and embarrassment and asked for His help. I felt hope.

A check did not come in the mail the next day or the next weeks or months ahead. But little by little, the debt began to shrink as He showed us how to steward what we had. His love empowered me to be brave, courageous, and push through. I needed Him. And He was pleased to identify with me and help me.

Culture and personal conscience can cripple us in condemnation. It is good to be reminded that He is always available to lift us above those lesser messages and bring us into His acceptance and love.

Romans 8: 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all,
won't he also give us everything else?

Like my sister says sometimes, "Thank God for GOD!"