The Mimosa Tree

by Marcie Elliott-Smith

When I was a little girl, there was a lovely mimosa tree towards the front of our property.

About half-way up the tree, there was a fork in a large branch which was the perfect place to sit and read.

It was my sanctuary for reflection and solitude.


Thursday, September 26, 2013

Social and Personal Stigma

stig·ma

noun: stigma


  • a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.
  • a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something; often resulting in shame-based thinking and belief system
  • a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation

I have had several things in life that stigmatized me and I know the crippling effect it can have-- if it becomes something you deeply believe about yourself; something that becomes your TRUTH.

Proverbs 23: 7 "As a man thinks in his heart; so is he."


I was raised poor. There are no other ways to say it. It is not that we didn't have ANYthing. We had significantly LESS than others and what we had was not 'good stuff'. 

I was a kid of the 60s and 70s. The world was moving quickly. Regardless of the advances in society, science and the world--it did not feel that way for me.

Man had been to and on the moon...but there were times when our household didn't have a TV, radio or telephone. We couldn't afford it.

We ate hot dogs, chicken (from our 'farm'), spaghetti, and cheese/mustard sauce over crackers. Occasionally there would be a pie. (Those days were heaven.) Once in a while, we could have a Coke.  My mother did ironing for the owners of a country store to pay for our grocery bill. Add to that...we had ratty, not-dependable family cars. Oh my Lord....the cars....

Why do I say all this? Because I let it define me. It's not just that we were poor. I felt painfully DIFFERENT. 

Even worse:  LESS

This is my childhood home:



This is a photo taken a few years go--but it wasn't much better 'back in the day'. There used to be more trees, a cover over the porch and it was painted white. *sigh* It was the best we could do.

In contrast, my friends had wall-to-wall carpeting, central air and heat and didn't have a wood stove in middle of the living room.

I was told we didn't have money and would never go to college.


So, I didn't. I remember the day Mom told me that. It felt like air was being let out of a balloon; in her AND me. Mostly--in her. She wanted 'better' for us and was conceding that she couldn't provide it. I didn't know about options or how to work through the college years. Having gone to 6 high schools, I didn't even understand there were counselors who could have helped me.

To launch into adult life with the stigmas of being poor and no college education -- can be absolutely crippling----if you BELIEVE you are "less".

I am so excited my sister and brother went on to higher education--for my brother, at his own expense and as a young father.

I crouched under the shadow of those things for so many decades, I have no idea what my life could have been like with positive, goal-setting, empowering mentoring!

What are your stigmas? What marked you as different or 'less'? Abuse? I had that one, too. Beaten, molested, threatened, afraid. I was a DEPRESSED adolescent.

Were your parents divorced? Did that mark you in your soul as 'less'--even though many have experienced the same thing? Were you lonely in your own experience?--even though it was common in others your age?

There are so many stigmas. Body type. Skin color. Past behavior you can't seem to 'live down'. Mental struggles. Judgment for taking necessary meds. What part of town you live in and what kind of car you drive! Being raised by one parent. Having a parent with poor behavior. Family reputation. Problems in school.

The pressures and world standards are out of control!  Even less tolerable is for any of this to be perpetuated in the Body of Christ.

The human tendency to compare ourselves to other people is RELENTLESS!


I love the following scripture on the subject of comparisons--and I LOVE how many times the word 'themselves' is used! haha  :)


2 Corinthians 10: 12  For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.

(Don't you ache to see this written in Southern-ese? "Y'all quit lookin' to those people to find out who you should be and all y'all stop comparing all y'alls selves to all y'alls selves.")

Is there ANY negative definition from your formative years that has served as a ball and chain for your progress?


Identify it. Find someone to grieve with you as you let it go. Pray it through to healing. Identify with your new life.

God has a way of moving these painful pasts OUT of our present of promise---putting them into perspective and setting you free.

Instead of being a driving force of restriction, what was once negative stigma takes its place as part of your story so you can encourage others and at the same time be launched into YOUR life.

Another trap in this is the determination to go from STIGMA to STATUS. It doesn't matter if all the external stigmas are changed and set right if the heart is not healed. Insecurity will plague the soul and rob the joy of any progress in spite of the accolades of the world and society. Certainly a negative outcome would be to develop an idol of STATUS.

"Lord, help us leave everything behind about the definitions of the world and its system. Help us to embrace Your ways and Your thoughts which are higher. We forgive those who wounded us and left their mark. Please heal our scars and comfort our lonely places. Fill us and complete us and help us seek a humble, powerful walk with You. Rain on us and soak us in Your love!!"


Funny thing about God's healing. I now tell stories about my childhood as though they are tiny snippets of the best story EVER. The sting has been taken out and now my past 
"it is what it is":
A story of the redemptive power of Christ.

The memories of my life once 'stung' me ... over and over ... with painful regret and horrible feelings. There was death in the wounds. Now they've been washed.

"O death, where is your sting? ... The sting of
death is sin... But thanks be to God,
which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
(I Corinthians 15:55-57)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Don't Judge on Me

Don't you hate to be judged? It can instantly provoke you to react in the same spirit and judge the person who is judging you. We need to disqualify the person in order to discredit the thing that is coming our way.

I'm guilty. When I was new in scripture, I wanted to see all things line up with the way He explains things. I was going through an intense transformation in my life and, in immaturity, thought it all applied to everyone at the same time and pace it was happening to me. That was not loving. It was religious and causes pride in yourself and provokes rebellion in others.

OH, but don't worry. God has a way of watching weeds grow with flowers and my time of weed-pulling was on its way. Fast and furious.


I meant well but I was not sensitive. I truly loved God and His truths but I needed wisdom. I didn't truly know how to LOVE. And without God-love, we are a bunch of noise. I Corinthians 13

Not surprisingly (as I look back), God allowed some very deep unraveling in my life. I went to a community group last night that was asking some hard questions about suffering. I was able to reflect on the role of personal suffering in my life.

I went through a time when I fell into sin in ways that I never thought I would do. I was also victimized. I became so self-judged, ashamed and disillusioned. How could this happen? Other people played a part--but that is not my business. My heart is my business.

I was crushed, run-over, beaten down, defiled, and smashed to bits. I deeply hated myself and thought I would lose my life and my mind.

There are many mini-stories that fill in the blanks of those last two sentences, but my greatest joy that I bring with me out of that season is: I don't judge people. I have compassion like never before. And having been forgiven so much, I love very deeply.

I come from a long line of grudge holders. I was well-trained.


Judgment is God's business. This is clear. There are a lot of things I don't fully understand in the world regarding injustice--but I know Him and He will set things right. I am totally at peace with that. What a magnificent display and burst of understanding and worship we will experience when we see the perfection of His wrapping up of this age.

One of the first glimpses I had of God as Judge was a time when a couple of women were praying with me about my inability to have children. One of the women said, "Marcie. What do you want?" I had felt that I needed to have children for my husband, my Mother, my family who had been praying, the church who had prayed... it all felt like pressure. But out of my mouth came, "I don't know. So I will wait on Him."

I saw and heard a massive Judge's gavel strike a desk and the sound reverberated in a gigantic, wood-paneled room that was Ancient. The sound was final and comforting. It was done. Sealed. And I had relief from that point. It was OK that I truly didn't know. Besides, it was completely out of my hands. The Judge is my Friend. The Merciful Judge.

After the time I mentioned earlier about being completely crushed and undone, I was touched with the scripture where Hagar called God "The One Who Sees Me". That was enough for me. I had no words; only knowing that I was known and still loved--and that comforted and quieted me.

I have no 'judge' left in me and I don't fear being judged. As Paul says, I Cor 4: 3-5 "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God."

Some people can be so proud of how they are 'hard on themselves'. Been there. DESIGNED the t-shirt. That is a self-righteous trap. Learning to throw your heart into the mercies of God and extend mercies to everyone in your life--that is freedom. James 2: 3 For the one who has shown no mercy will be judged without mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Mercy is more powerful. Begin with allowing yourself to absorb mercy from God.


If you have felt judged, please forgive. Sometimes I have felt judged, but the other person wasn't really judging me---my own heart was condemning me and I was being convicted by God. It can be such a trap to lash out at the person in front of you instead of going to God.

Seeking Him is always the Answer.